Heaven Boy

April 22, 2012

I sat there all day long. Staring at the contacts list in my phone looking for one decent guy I could call. One that treated me well. One that I wasn’t awkward around. One that didn’t try to psychoanalyze me. One that enjoyed my company. One that would sit and do absolutely nothing with me but still call it a wonderful day. One that would let me cry in his arms for no apparent reason at all, simply because I wanted to be held and crying felt good.

And here it is my vulnerable side. The vulnerable side that exists in every tough girl out there. I don’t want a relationship, but I don’t want a friend with benefits. I want someone who would sit there and cuddle with me but not ask questions and not sigh or complain, but would simply enjoy it. For it has been so long since I have been held, held by someone who is so completely… at ease. That is what heaven sounds like to me. That stupid contacts list seemed to fail me though. As there was not one name that would lend itself to such a heaven. I sat there hoping a stranger would call and need the same thing as I, but alas in solitude I sat. Alone (though not lonely) I sat.

Summertime excitement is calling, and no romance brews. And while it may seem childish, the childish part of me just wants a boy. A heaven boy. Just for a time while I have the time. Maybe he will come, and maybe he won’t… and that’s okay. I still have my dreams right?

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