Lack of Control

February 23, 2012.

For someone who is constantly in control of the situation and of emotions involved it is of the upmost fear to be completely terrified and beside yourself panic-like notions. Sweaty forehead, spinning world, dizziness, lightheadedness, increased heart-rate, tunnel vision that one thing that hates you like nothing else looms in closer. Taunting you like an animal does its prey, the fear rolls through you like boiled oil. No matter how hard you try or how hard you push or no matter how much you wish away the fear, it sticks around. Not even positive thoughts seem to help… not even the most peaceful or relaxing of memories or places can pull one through. and there lies the true question of the word fear: can we control it? Or does its sometimes overwhelming qualities push away even the most positive strings of thought that seem to normally work? Who really knows.

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