The Weakness in Strength



April 1, 2012.

Strength is constantly maintained. Break downs are rarely welcomed. Tears seldom flow. Punches are thrown. Defensive positions are embraced. Chins are held high. Back bones are straight. Level heads are demanded. Strong. Bold. Impenetrable. Hard. Tough. Most eyes see this demeanor. Most eyes take this as the limits of depth of a person. Nothing further, nothing more. Just strength.

Only one name can change that. Only one name can translate into weakness. Only one name can take my strength, my self confidence, my stability and turn it into complete and utter chaotic weakness. In the midst of a battle your name brings me to my knees in gut wrenching pain, it’s as if i’m being forced to bow to your word. Your decisions, your thoughts, or lack thereof, keep me hanging for any little change like a cat chasing its prey recording every one of its movements.

It wasn’t until now that my tears became more than just forced, but came willingly from my own soul because it wasn’t until now that I was let down. That you let me down. You ran so far away from home. From where you would be happy and when you return you expect to be treated like the prodigal son, with rewards and cheering welcoming you. You actions warrant no such celebration for I am not as patient as that father. Your welcome back brings disappointment as it is obvious your departure and existence in another world taught you nothing. You come back the same person with the same bad habits. While I am weak in this and while my knees still hug the ground, you will be soon. Do not underestimate the power of weakness, your strength will be broken too. And a change will occur. Just you wait.

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