Beanies or Baseball Caps

May 29, 2012

Here I am adventuring into brand new territory. It’s a place where skinny jeans and v necks no longer fit in and no longer take the eye. While it is terrifying to venture from looking for those eyes under beanies to looking for those eyes under baseball caps, I feel as if it might be time for a change. My eyes and most importantly my heart seem to fall for those who are made fun of for hiding in a corner with long straight hair and a guitar, but my failed successes have led me to believe my emotions play too great a role in deciding my relationships and I must think of the condition of my heart. Going for a man who is different, deviating from the status quo, maybe I should be adventurous.

On second thought maybe I should choose to simply leave well enough alone and give myself a break. Maybe being “single” is the state in which my heart and mind belong in at the moment. With a career on the edge of my fingertips and hard work to get there the stressors of a relationship could prove to be too much. While I can handle a lot and while I could handle those stressors, what I couldn’t handle would be having my heart broken once again: no not broken but ripped from the now empty cavity it once sat happily in. While eventually I can stitch the wound back together, pain follows. And that pain is something even superwoman can’t handle.

So here is the debate, the debate between leaving well enough alone or the choice to let go for once and simply fall towards what feels right even if it may not be. Both are a gamble and both come with their fair share of positives and negatives. Here’s to hoping I find the balance… wish me luck.

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