Only a Human Being



May 4, 2012

I’m standing here knocking. Just like you told me to do. I’m knocking on your door with the expectation of that door being opened for me. But alas, there is no answer! I knock some more and some more and more and more and more, yet silence is the one to slap me in the face once again. No possible hint of movement, no possible jiggle of the door handle, nothing. You told me to do it, you told me to knock. But when I do, you don’t answer me. So what am I to do instead? Be patient? We both know that’s is something I am quite awful at. My tragic downfall if you will. I want that door opened, and I want it opened now! I want to pass over that door frame and into the world that exists behind it, one where I am successful and known! Yet I am still stuck here in the unknown where a measly minimum wage job reels in my livelihood. Maybe you want me to be patient. Maybe that is what you are trying to teach me. But why must it be so hard? Why is it so difficult for a girl who can conquer anything to fail and learning to be patient? It’s not necessarily my style. When I want something I work hard and I go out there and get it. Where is the balance? Where is the balance between patience and reckless ambition? If only I knew the answer, then I would conquer all. But I cannot do that. For I am only a human being…

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