What Girls Think About During Baseball Games



May 30, 2012

For the sake of my readers who probably hear too many of my deeply thought out and meaningful works of art, I decided to go a different direction with my writing for the day. Today’s writing is called “What Girls Think about During Baseball Games.” Inspired by the fact the Rangers were playing tonight and completely sucked it up!... eh besides the point.

I’m not about to deny the truth. I DON’T DO SPORTS. Why do you think I’m sitting here writing? If I watched sports I would not be writing. End of story. And I do realize there are plenty of girls out there who follow baseball more religiously than most dudes do, props to you ladies because sports cannot hold my attention for that long! I’m sorry. I get too distracted. Which brings me to my first point:

1) Getting Distracted: during these long 9 inning, baseball games I end up sitting here twiddling my thumbs half the time while the players aren’t playing, even when they are playing… they’re just running! And Hitting stuff. Is it really that fun? See there I go getting distracted. What do I do when I get distracted… I look at the hot men of course! I mean listen, you toss a ton of good looking guys on a field hand them a bat and some tight pants… I’m gonna be looking. And what looks better than a man’s ass in baseball pants? Nothing. That’s right nothing. So my first point

ass ass ass ass ass!

2) Understanding the rules: So I’m sitting here on my couch watching the game and I am trying to understand what’s going on… I really am. But there are too many rules! I can’t keep up with all that! Pshh. So I’m staring at the television trying my hardest to understand what’s going on when all of a sudden a built young man runs across the screen leaving his ass out in the open for everyone to look at!

Ass ass ass ass ass!

3) How Can You Like This: I understand the rules now… You hit the ball with the bat and people run.

… wow. I’m so impressed. This does not hold my interest!!! So I’m sitting there trying to make myself love this tedious sport when all of a sudden you see a man in tight pants run alllll the way across the field to catch a ball.

Ass ass ass ass ass!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I don’t mean to insult baseball. It’s the American pastime and it is quite lovely and entertaining for those of you who participate. But for us ladies out there who have no interest in baseball just know… Ass ass ass ass ass.

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