The One I Used to Love

Jun 7, 2012

What happened? I honestly couldn’t say. You were once a gentle soul with a quirky and nervous yet happy smile. Your grabbed my hand the second you had the chance and tried your hardest not to let go. You were bold with your hand picked flowers at my doorstep and at one point you would try more than your hardest to keep me next to you forever. You took pleasure in the things that reminded you of me and now reminiscing brings annoyance to your disposition. I once knew you inside and out and could read you like I could my favorite book. Now you all I see is the boy I used to be in love with and for some reason cannot seem to let go of.

You grew older and maturity took hold, though it seems that with age instead of growing into a mature young man your years of praise and haughtiness led to an immature mindset. Now all that exists are games and tricks into getting what brought a temporary fix of happiness, but working towards something that could last forever proves to be too much effort on your part.

I wish I knew at what moment you changed from the boy I loved to the boy I used to love. Because as I sit here wanting to love you and wanting you to love me back, I honestly couldn’t say. I yearn to know so that maybe I could turn it all around and fix the love that once was there. But I suppose that is the awful part about being human; accepting what was and now what is.

It is rather disappointing for those moments with you were the best of my life and here they are simply moments in the past, memories, that don’t seem to have an impact on the present. I wish you could understand what I see, maybe then you could tell me what changed you. But since the bridge between us has long been destroyed, I sit here hoping one day those memories might mean something again. Until then, I will find my own happiness, and if that moment comes then I will live on with my own happiness and none of yours.

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