July 15, 2012

It all seems like a contradiction. I want so badly to hold a grudge on you, to pick apart every action, every word to find the things that can be taken wrongly and torture you with them. Torture you the way you did me; with ceaseless regard. Yet in the next second I want nothing more than to say I love and care about you. But most importantly have the strength to say that and to walk away knowing very well our future interactions are to be few to none.

It seems to difficult and tedious to discern what it is the heart is yelling at me. If only my brain could hear the language of love. But it can't. So that leaves me with a giant misunderstanding between the logic of my brain and the emotion of heart. A misunderstanding so complicated and twisted, that it can't even untwist itself.

I love you and I always will. But part of me will always wish that I didn't love you because that would be mush easier and much less painful. Everything happens for a reason, and for some reason I may never understand, I do still love you. In some bizarre way, shape, or form I do. And it tortures me, everyday.

I love you for who you are, but I hate you for what you've done to me.


  1. It's like that miley song SEVEN THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU <3 Good post!

  2. You didn't have to make a sarcastic tweet about that, it wasn't meant as an insult. You're going to lose readers if you're mean to the few you have.

  3. I'm sorry if I offended you with my Tweet. It was meant as a slight to myself more than anything else. I've have trouble writing decent stuff lately so it was more of me beating up on myself. Sorry if I offended anyone.

    I wasn't being mean to my readers my Tweeting that though.