Ramen Noodles

July 7, 2012

It's midnight as I watch the microwave's timer count down the minutes until my oh so coveted ramen noodles are finished cooking. I'm pathetically slouching on the slate kitchen floors with a cup of lemonade in my hand and an overly needy cat rubbing up against my leg. Riveting life of a 19 year old right?

I could be out on the town with my friends laughing and talking up the latest gossip or watching a movie with my girls but my pathetic attempt to be bold has led me to this. Waiting for my ramen. Nutrition experts do not suggest this method of coping with pathetic-life-itis but as an expert on the condition of pathetic-life-itis it is encouraged to pack as many carbs in at one time as possible. The technical term is "carbo-loading." Live it, love it, apply it to your pathetic life: many people have found a significant increase in happiness though weight gain can be negative side effect. If your standard of life does not increase please immediately cease all carbo-loading activities and consult a real doctor who could in the proper situation prescribe you happy pills. But in this case, ramen will do.

"Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid." I released the boldness, but those mighty forces have yet to kick in. I obviously don't regret it, being bold is something to be proud of, but the immediate consequences do seem to have an unusually unfortunate result. The sad songs and bubble baths weren't enough to stifle my case of pathetic-life-itis and therefore I turned to the risky but ever so effective carbo-load method of healing. If this remedy doesn't do it's job I am afraid I might come down with a you-are-so-pathetic-you-got-shot-down fever. Being bold has its positives but it also has its down sides. I've seen the down sides, here's to hoping the positives come.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Oh look my ramen is done. Thank the dear Lord.

Post a Comment