Welcome to Sun Poisoning

July 30, 2012


Here I am in southern California tucked away in my little apartment curled up amongst an entire closet full of feather blankets. My body smells of vinegar and Aloe and there is a red tint to my back that very similarly resembles the tomatoes you chopped up for your lunch today. At the end of a wonderful trip with the best friends I could ever ask for, the sun has decided to remove me from his friends list. Sun poisoning ladies and gentlemen. It's real. I have been suffering for a good hour and a half now and I can say it has not been a beer in the bar.

My ever so lovely friends treated me as I laid on the hallway floor. After a layer of vinegar to remove the red and a coating of Aloe, I ended up in the bed with an uncontrollable case of the shivers that after 30 minutes most likely burned off a days calories. It has been hell.

We then googled the symptoms and of course what does google tell me? Oh that's right, I am going to die. Oh well.

Of course this would happen to me right? After a life that has consisted of one giant derp (when someone does something stupid, weird,"special", odd) I would be the one to contract sun poisoning.

I blame the beautifully tan California girls, you boisterous group of brown beauties. I wanted to be a brown beauty too, instead I ended up in bed... and I might end up in your salad tomorrow.

Wear sun block ladies and gentlemen, just do it.

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