Best Friends

September 22, 2012

Blogspot is still not having it. I can’t post anything or get access to my Blogger dashboard. Hmph. I typed it in word. Emailed to myself. Copied the text onto the Blogger app for my iPad and am editing it here on Blogger. (at least it let me do that much). But nevertheless, here I am writing away somehow figuring out how to best deliver my oh so important message. The message from the boring nineteen year old! Amidst a plethora of allergy attacks and missed calls I am managing to survive even though everything seems to be floating in a limbo of sorts where my brain knows I have to deal with it, but can’t fathom the ability of actually dealing with it.

But amongst these variables and in the midst of this limbo, I find myself falling only to be caught in the comforting arms of a best friend. Best friends are under rated if you ask me. I deal with people all day long and have friends in every corner, but very rarely do those people stay. I am great at making friends, but horrible at keeping them. It’s not like people ditch me, no. Others are normally the ones looking for a friendship and I here I am in my own little world where I much prefer to be where I don’t have people tailing me at all times.

I am the one who ruins friendships. I make a friend and then more quick than slow I choose to simply grow apart. I stop replying to texts or invites to hang out and slowly the friendship ceases to exist. It doesn’t necessarily bother me, even though it probably should.

So when I have a best friend, that my friends, is something big. When I have a best friend that I can call a best friend of four years- I feel as if I should win a prize- one for not pushing people away. Best friends seem to be hard to come by, but without them, these variables and changing aspects of this life would overwhelm me. I would have quit by now. But a chat or a skype call or a text even from a best friends, gives me that little bit of home that gives me the courage to continue on and not let those variables control the future I have dreamed for myself.

Best friends. Without them, I wouldn’t be.

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