The Letters We Never Send

September 30, 2012

I don’t know about you, but I myself have about a thousand different little rants in my head that I somehow transposed onto a word document detailing, in great detail, my feelings toward a certain person or situation. I would love to say that these rants stopped at the age of fifteen or sixteen when I supposedly “grew up” but here I am to say, and my roommates can vouch for this, that they still go on to this day.

A lot of these rants are in the form of goofy, cheesy, hopeless “love” or rather “like” letters that I so desperately wish I could give to a certain person, but know that I never will because truthfully they are rather goofy.

Or they take the form of angry monologues I wish I could say to my parents. But unfortunately these monologues would get me kicked out of the house… it’s all of the expletives I think.

So I resort to babbling on a word doc about my hopeless but insanely adorable love life and my parent issues. My hard drive is so intrigued.

Half of these letters end up in blog form. Most of you think I am delivering some sort of insightful news that the world needs to hear about!! But no, alas I am not that awesome. They are simply my brain ramblings about how a certain boy makes me feel or how the boy feels about me or blah blah blah.

Of course if I have all of these feelings should I not just share them with said person? Of course! That would be the logical thing to do, but because I turn into an awkward thirteen-year-old girl around boys I am in no state to deliver such pivotal news. So I write it down; because when I write it down I can pick and choose the exact words I want to say to evoke the exact emotion I want to evoke with no red cheeks or stuttering words to mess it up. It’s the perfect solution! Only one problem, I write all of these perfectly crafted yet goofy letters but I never send them. They sit on my hard drive for what seems like eternity until I revisit them years later to remember what a goofy child I used to be.

I should really start sending these letters though. Because goofy or not they are my exact feelings… also my hard drive is full. 

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