Picket Fence Future

December 7, 2012

School. Work. Sleep. Repeat.

School. Work Sleep. Repeat.

Nothing changes. Nothing is new. The key to my door fits exactly as it did yesterday. The shows I watched are constantly on replay. And I the one pasta dish tastes exactly as it did the day before and the day before that and the day before that. Same routine. Same process. Over and over again. With each monotonous day that passes my addiction to coffee grows and grows until I am only a product crappy television and a caffeinated beverage that stains your teeth and stunts your growth.

It must be life. So simple. So easy. So safe. So boring. There isn’t a chase. There isn’t a fear. There isn’t a “what if” or a “fear factor.” Every single decision is so safe and so smart. And that is where this life ends. At the intersection of safe and smart. Where the bank accounts look nice and a drive a mini van with my kids names on the back in the form of a “Straight A Student” bumper sticker. The same routine 24/7 and before we I know it I’m in a nursing home without the ability to even care for myself.

There is no stimulus. There is no excitement. Only the security in knowing your life could never fall apart, but it could never get any better either.

So when is the perfect time to drop the bomb that the white picket fence isn’t for everyone. And some people would rather take the dangerous and unsure road while others took the safe one.

This safe road no longer fulfills the need to see and understand this world before I have to leave it. I have been given the beautiful opportunity of a perfect picket-fence life. And I want… I yearn, to throw it all away for the possibility that another life might be more fulfilling.

It’s crazy. It’s wrong. It’s reckless. Maybe a little bit irrational. But I would rather feel every extreme that sit in the middle of a steady happiness for the rest of forever. That’s not living. That’s existing.

While some people want to grow up to exist. I want to grow up to live. And I don’t see a single picket fence in my future. 

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