The key to confidence

I don't want to pretend that there is a spell to rid ones self of all doubts and insecurities. The truth of the matter is that there isn't. Doubts and insecurities will never go away. But on the bright side, I think there is a key to managing them and not letting them rule your life. 

A friend of mine recently started blogging and her first post just hit me with a burst of inspiration, so I have Kendall to thank for that! She talked about self-doubts and about how we are able to accomplish more than we think we can. Sometimes we make things into such a big deal that even the smallest speck feels like a mountain. The smallest insecurity or the smallest doubt feels like a splotch of chocolate on your face, and anyone within a five-mile radius can see. Well, whether they notice or not isn't the point (though most of the time they don't notice). 

The point is that those insecurities aren’t as big of a deal as we often make them out to be.

But because we are humans, we care what other people think. If we have a pimple on our face it isn’t that big of a deal. But it feels like it gets bigger and bigger with every person that looks at us, right? So at the end of the day that little speck might as well be Mount Rushmore, and definitely not as pretty.

But you should also think about how many other people walking past you have a pimple on their face? Probably most of them. Or if not, a deformed toe they hate. Or that pesky earlobe that seems to wobble to and fro further than the other.

Everyone has insecurities. Everyone has doubts. And sometimes we let those rule our thoughts and actions, so we end up losing our self-confidence.

If you met me now you wouldn’t think I ever suffered with self-confidence issues. But I did and I do. Just like everyone else. But over the years I learned that the trick to being self-confident isn’t by covering up the doubts and insecurities I have. It isn’t about over compensating for the fact I feel like crap inside sometimes. It is about accepting that I DO have doubts and I DO have insecurities, but making the conscious decision not to let them rule my life.

One of my biggest doubts is that I’m stupid. I lead myself to believe I’m stupid and therefore other people think I’m stupid and by extension I won’t accomplish anything, because I’m stupid.

Whether I’m stupid or not isn’t the problem (but I’ve learned to find out I’m not totally stupid). The problem is that I fill my head with negative thoughts and they fester and they continue to grow and grow.

So accept the fact you have insecurities and you have doubts from time to time, but do your best to fill your head with positive thoughts and let those fester and grow. You will be surprised at how quickly those doubts and insecurities fall to the way side and you are left with positive thoughts and confidence.

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