Throwing it back | 30 Day Snap #18

I was going through a literal basket of junk I have in my room today when I found this old photo. I must have been around five at the time and was cute as a button if I may be so vain as to say. 

It just got me started thinking about how easy life was then and how complicated it is now and all of that blah blah blah. 

But as a kid I was always yearning to be independent and to be an adult. I wanted to do things on my own and for people to respect me for it. By the time I was four I refused to let my mother dress me and do my hair; let’s just say I walked around in some interesting outfits. But I didn’t care, I had done it myself and I had pride in that.

But my entire life I have always tried to be older than I really am. I’ve always tried to have a life I would have five years down the road. Very few times have I been happy in exactly where I was. I am always toward the future, which has its pros and cons.

I am working toward my dreams. I pay my bills. I do my own grocery shopping. I have a job. I do all of the things I always wanted.

But every now and then I wish I could go back to when I was five and the biggest fight I had to win was if my mom would let me pick out my outfit that day or not.

Oh young Nikki, if only you knew the things you were going to see.

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