The last time

(Don't read this if you don't appreciate sappy love stories filled with drama and disgusting emotions. Don't worry I hate myself as much as you do right now). 

I never thought I would regret saying goodbye this much. It was just so easy for me to let you go. It was as easy as drinking when thirsty, eating when hungry, smiling when happy, crying when sad. And I just left. It didn't hurt. It didn't bother me. It didn't phase me. 

In the blink of an eye you were gone and I was relieved. And I left you with a thousand questions and a broken heart. But I didn't care. I didn't care if you were hurt. I didn't care if you were angry. All I cared about was my freedom. I didn't care what I was walking away from. But I would.  

We went our separate ways and I didn't spare a thought to you. I tormented myself with every destructive relationship I could find. And I fed off of it. It fueled my hate fire and let me think the world was against me and oh poor me, poor me; helpless and only wanting to be loved. Little did I realize I willingly gave away everything I needed. 

Karma gave me a nice slap in the face seeing you again. It all hit me like a bulldozer. And I stood there like a dumbfounded idiot while every emotion I had been holding in came spilling out. 

But it was too late. Now I was the one with a thousand questions and a broken heart. And there you were not owing me anything. 

And back and and forth it went. You wanting me and me wanting you yet our timing never seemed to align. And every time I rediscovered you, the feelings came spilling in again. And no matter how close I came, I could never touch. I would turn away feeling even more empty than before. 

But I can't tease myself any longer. None of this back and forth and comings and goings. No longer can half faded memories torment my waking mind.  

This is the last time. The last chance for Karma to give us a break. 



2 comments

  1. awwwwww, I know these feels all to well. I hope it works out for you. Timing is crazy sometimes!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks! I hope so too :)
      xo

      btw, I love your blog! :)

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