I'm really good at math

All growing up I was surprisingly good at math. I made mostly As with a couple of Bs scattered here and there. Multiplication and division were a piece of cake. I could even do some geometry! Algebra 1 and 2 were a breeze, and while I thought all of those statistics courses would kick my butt, I always ended up doing pretty well.

I would always tell my teachers how bad at math I was in hopes they would pat me on the head and pass me just because they felt sorry for me. But then they got to know me and the crazy looks started because my test scores were always in the 90s.

I even convinced my friends that I was bad at math! It was a reputation I just could not ruin! They always felt sorry for me and tutored me until we got the first test back. I made a 95 while they all got somewhere in the 70s and 80s. Bad at math my ass.

I kept telling myself I was bad at math because I really didn’t like it; it was boring to me and not a lot of fun. Plus I always wanted to be a writer and typical writers are notorious for being terrible at anything math related, right? So, I thought, eh I must be bad at math too.

So one day when it just dawned on me that "oh hey I’m good at math!", I was pretty upset. Like really? I had to be blessed with knowledge and expertise on something that I hated?! What a waste of time! Why couldn’t I be good at painting or acting or guitar playing or something that even kind of interested me, like cooking? What I wouldn’t give to be able to cook a damn good omelet.

But no. I am good at math.

I wish the story ended there. But because it’s my life, the simplest of things have to turn themselves into grandiose metaphors.

And just like I’m good at math, I’m good at being single. Like being innately decent at math, I am innately decent at being independent. Math came easily to me. Being single comes easily to me. There’s no risk. There’s no chance of being hurt. There’s no chance of depending on someone to just have them leave. I have expertise in being alone without being lonely. And I’m really good at taking care of myself.

Finding square roots, determining correlation between two factors or running t-tests is just as easy as cooking for one and not having to answer to anyone. And just like writers are supposed to be bad at math, girls like me are supposed to be good at relationships.

But I’m really good at math. And I’m really bad at relationships. 


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