The voice of reason to my insanity

When I talk to you I feel like I'm talking to myself just in a different body. By simply looking at me you make me spill my guts. I don't even think before talking. It all just comes out in a jumbled mess reflecting everything going on inside.

Every time you tell me I'm special or even toss a quick grin my way, everything inside just falls apart in a beautiful chaos. I yearn to hear your voice and hug you. And I want you to need me. I want you to want me. And I want you to feel for me like I do for you. I want to be vulnerable with you, even though vulnerability is the most nerve racking sensation. And you tell me the same.

And it's scary feeling all of those things. It's terrifying, really, letting yourself open up to a rush of those feelings. Because once you let them take over, there's is no going back. And it's wonderful feeling so strongly about someone. It's exciting and beautiful and feels like being invincible. But it's scary, because your heart is out in the open just ready to be broken and torn to pieces. It's so vulnerable a state. When it's great, it's like being on ecstasy. But when it hurts, it feels like burning in hell.

Love is such a contradiction. It's an anomaly, that humans, I don't think, can ever fully understand. We don't have the capacity to wrap our minds around something so complicated. So the best we can do, really, is just let ourselves feel it. To be brave enough to open our hearts to be broken. But also to open our hearts to a kind of love that defeats all pain and brokenness.

And to me, you are that kind of love. You are the love that makes me forget my anxiety and my worry about the deepest insecurities I've lived my whole life knowing. After years of fighting for independence, part of me wants to depend on you. You make me brave enough to feel it.

And normally I have a logic and a plan behind every thought and action I take day-to-day. But around you, I'm nearly insane. And as I am here to take care of you and be your rock, you are mine. You are the voice of reason to my crazy insanity.

Post a Comment