The Wish to Forget.

You know, sometimes I wish I could forget. I wish I could forget all of the good times we shared, but more than anything I wish I could forget the bad times. 

Remembering the good times makes me miss you. It makes me miss your warm arms. It makes me miss your cheesy dancing and goofy grin. It makes me miss your laugh and passion. And it makes me miss your hidden, but gentle heart that needs care and tenderness, though you may never admit it. It makes me want to call you to make sure you're alright even though it was you who did me wrong. And it makes me want to come rushing to you to hug and comfort you because I know that right now you simply aren't alright. Even though no words have passed between us, there will always be an underlying path between the two of us that even distance can't separate. And even at the darkest and faintest of moments, I can feel your heart. 

But those bad memories come in those dark and faint times and even in the most innocent and unwarranted of times. And they remind me of the pain you once caused and even still inflict. And it's those that haunt me. It's those that somehow meander their way into my subconscious existence and cancel out the good memories and force me to forget you ever did me right. The pain of those bad moments scarred deeper and stuck harder than any goofy laugh or soft hearted moment ever could, and for those I can't forgive and I definitely can't forget. Put up your strongest defense and prove to the world your soft heart. Even I can be the first to admit it exists. But remember that unless the hard part of your heart and soul is released, those evil and unforgivable actions of yours that come when least warranted, will always, always, leave you stranded when you need help the most. It's those moments and it's that personality trace of being selfish and manipulative for your own sort of twisted gain, that erase any redeemable moment.