Who Cares // An advice to myself post

When I was a kid I really wanted to be famous. It was right around the time the first High School Musical came out on Disney Channel and I had this detailed dream of becoming Vanessa Anne Hudgens. I would magically wake up with a beautiful voice, no braces and about 4 inches taller and so of course Zac Efron would fall in love with me and we would be this talented and famous Hollywood couple, it was great. 

But what I didn't understand in my younger years is that when you are a celebrity, EVERYONE has an opinion about you and EVERYONE talks about you and EVERYONE knows your personal business and EVERYONE constantly judges you. It's a good thing I don't have any Disney Channel worthy talents, because I would be absolutely miserable. (This all has a point I promise). 

Even though the world may not have opinions on me or judge me there will always be people in my life that judge my actions, and I think this really goes for everyone. Every single person has people in their life that judge their every move and I think at some point we all are that person to someone as well.

Luckily enough, I never cared too much about people's opinions on me or what they thought I should be doing with my life. But I think it always hits a little bit deeper when people you really care about and value their opinions, judge your actions. I think those accusations and judgements always hit a little bit deeper and are a cause further thought. 

You want to value their opinion because you value them as a person and you trust them. If someone you trust has an opinion on your actions, you are likely to consider it. This has hit me a lot recently when many people give me their opinion on what decisions I should be making and how I should be living my life. I'm a stubborn asshole so at the end of the day, I'm going to do what I want anyways, but that doesn't mean that I don't dwell on people's opinions a lot and ultimately harbor negative feelings toward people for giving me opinions that don't have any relevance or strong grounding and ones that I didn't really ask for in the first place. 

At the end of the day, you are your own ultimate decider. And I am learning that more about myself. I love making decisions and feel as if I am a good decision maker most of the time, but I do linger on other people's opinions every now and then and it hurts and it becomes a burden because it creates a lot of internal conflict. So I guess this whole point is that, for goodness sake, Nikki, you are your own person so stop letting other people's opinions and judgements slow you down and get to you. I need to trust myself and my decisions even more. This is an advice to myself blog post today I guess. 

*Pardon any run on sentences, I had a lot of feelings at typed quite quickly.