Dove Chocolates are Jerks

So, my best friend gave me some Dove chocolates for Valentine's Day (YUM)! They are the ones with the little messages on the inside of the wrapper. I thought aw how cute! Thinking they would be more positive messages, I opened Dove chocolate after Dove chocolate waiting for a really good message, but I kept getting one's like "share a sunset with someone" and "A gentle touch speaks volumes" or "the best things in life are chocolate." Okay, Dove, I would appreciate something a little more insightful! Then I opened a chocolate that read "remember your first crush." Excuse me, Dove! I didn't really want to remember Jacob Mundle and beautiful moments we spent together watching Pokemon and eating Spaghettios! 

Not to mention, I worked out today and probably gained back the calories I burned from all of the Dove chocolates I shoved in my mouth. Damnit, Dove! Why do you have to be so delicious and manipulative! 

That's all. I'm off to eat more chocolates...