Little Pieces

There's nothing I've ever wanted to be more, than a writer. For a while I wanted to be a botanist, then a geologist for a time and I was stuck on being an astronaut for a few months. But through all of that, I wrote about my wants and dreams and desires. And one day I just stopped wishing to be something else, and embraced what I was, a weird little girl who wrote really bizarre stories in journals. Dreams of being something else or a different me, just floated away, because I was more than content being holed up in my room writing. 

And still to this day, I have to say, there are very few things that bring me more peace and comfort and joy than sitting alone and writing. So, when people ask me what my aspirations are, I tell them I want to be a writer, or a more accomplished one at that. They give me a quizzical half sort of smile and I tack on something about going into marketing. To be fair, I thoroughly enjoy digital marketing and using my creative skills in that field, and I fully intend on having a career in the creative digital world, because that fascinates me. But at the end of the day when all the work is done and I can cuddle up with a cup of tea or glass of wine, a smooth blanket and a couple of fluffy cats, you will find me pen in hand and journal on lap writing away into the wee hours of the evening. 

I wish I could pursue writing full-time. Some people have the ability and means to do that, I'm just not one of those people. Sometimes I wish I was, and perhaps I could study writing and language further, but I think that may take some of the magic away from me. I don't want to turn it into a burden, or mistake it for something other than it is. 

I hope to publish a novel or two and a book of short stories or personal essays one day, but I think I will be just as happy even if I don't. Because to me whether the writing goes somewhere or stays tucked away in a journal on a dusty shelf, it's all important and it's all significant, no matter its popularity. Writing is a deep expression of the soul. And when something from such a deep and personal space is allowed out even in the smallest form, it's beautiful. I'm just lucky that I have the ability to access little pieces of my soul to ink onto pages. That's enough for me.