To Change

It's been an extremely emotional few days, hell the past week was pretty emotional. And now that I'm on the subject, the whole past month and half has been a whirlwind of crazy and emotional. You get thrown curve balls sometimes. Lately, I've been thrown curveball after curveball after curveball. It feels never ending. Like those machines at batting cages, that repetitiously spit out balls for you to smack. Life is that machine right about now. While I wish I could say I've smacked the crap out of every single one of those balls, I really haven't. Some of them got past my defenses and hit me hard. 

I wish I had a more positive outlook right now and say something about learning from all of the hard times you go through, but I just can't say that right now. It's true, I'm sure my bruises will heal and I will learn something. But sometimes the curveballs just hit you where it hurts and it takes sometime to heal. These curveballs are changing things, and changing things fast. Right as I feel my life starting to get together and make large strides to the future I truly desire, something changes. 

For someone who enjoys adventure and new things, change has been a seemingly never defeated foe as of late. Amidst all the change and all of the new experiences, I'm waiting for normalcy again. But normalcy is such a relative idea. There really isn't such a thing as normal. Everything is changing all the time. Nothing ever stays the same. That's just the rule of life it seems. But even amongst the changing chaos around us, there is some resemblance of normal. And that's what I crave again. I crave myself that thrives in the midst of changing chaos. I haven't known that person for a while, but I think she's coming back. At least I hope she is. Maybe change will become the new normal.